There are many days in my life where I do things I know that I shouldn't. At this point in my life, it's not out of curiosity to see what happens. It's out of spite for not being able to do them. No, it's nothing exciting like jumping out of airplanes, or tearing the "Do Not Remove" tags off of mattresses. It's much more mild, like eating chocolate mint cookies for breakfast. Now, there are breakfast cookies out there, and they look like the cookies I made, so why not? Well, here's why not, my body hates sugar. Okay, hate is a strong word. My body reacts negatively to sugar, but it loves to eat it! Eating sugar is like dating that guy who is horribly wrong for you, and hurts you each time, but you go back to him because you just can't help yourself! That is my relationship to this white, powdery, sweetness.
Now, my four year old is the opposite. She does things just to see what might happen. The other day my husband went upstairs to tell her it was time to come downstairs and get ready for bed. I heard his voice raise and he came stumbling down the stairs with a box in his hand. He walked it over to me and said, "Our daughter just peed in this box." And, oh yeah, it had toys in it. Not just any toys, but some of my husband's he-man toys from his childhood. My first reaction was to laugh. My second reaction, however, overpowered the first reaction quickly. "Why are you walking that box around the house? Get it out of here!" Yuck.
Luckily for me, it was my night to get our daughter showered and ready for bed, so while my husband was downstairs rinsing pee off of toys, I was upstairs rinsing pee off of our daughter.
Her excuse? I couldn't make it down the stairs in time.
Here are the holes in her excuse:
1. She has been potty trained for two years with only a handful of accidents in the beginnning.
2. Our house is tiny. There is no way she could not have walked the ten steps across our upstairs to the ten steps that lead downstairs to the bathroom.
3. She is four.
Pee doesn't make for good frosting, but it does make for a funny story!
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Thursday, January 9, 2014
What is worse than peeing in a pool?
I'll tell you. Puking in a pool. They make signs for not peeing, such as "Welcome to our ool, notice there is no P in it and we would like to keep it that way." I haven't seen a sign for no vomiting in our pool. I could see how such a sign might pose difficulties for the sign industry. There is no V in pool, and really not a way to play on words. You can't exactly say, Welcome to our Pool, notice there is no vomit in it. Just doesn't make sense.
Even if there were a sign for such a thing, it wouldn't matter. My four year old daughter cannot read. It's okay, it's a normal thing for a four year old not to read. Anyway, the pool I am referring to is a pool at a local school in which she is taking "lessons". Lessons is a very loose word because basically the kids do whatever they want and the teacher floats around watching and making "suggestions." Suggestions is also used loosely because in the 45 minute time frame she usually makes one "suggestion" and never stops back to see how it goes.
My daughter is a fish. Not literally, so stop imagining it and stay with me on this story. She can swim a long ways and is very good at it. But her downfall is she doesn't quite understand the breathing part of swimming and because she is so excited to be in a pool in the winter, she doesn't care. Now, I know the breathing part will come with age and experience, but at her age when she tries to breathe she takes in water. Doing this once, probably not a big deal, the PH on her urine might be a little off the next time she goes to the bathroom. However, doing it every time she swims through the water becomes a problem.
How much water does it take? Who knows. I wouldn't even know how to, or want to measure it. What does too much water look like? Vomit. In the pool, not even on the side. Containment just wasn't happening, no matter how much I tried to keep it all in my hands.
We cleared the pool and ended the lesson early, which was okay with me. You can only spend so long floating around in water as warm as, and probably full of, pee. We left in shame, and a little bit of joy, as this was the last lesson and we had gotten done early.
Even if there were a sign for such a thing, it wouldn't matter. My four year old daughter cannot read. It's okay, it's a normal thing for a four year old not to read. Anyway, the pool I am referring to is a pool at a local school in which she is taking "lessons". Lessons is a very loose word because basically the kids do whatever they want and the teacher floats around watching and making "suggestions." Suggestions is also used loosely because in the 45 minute time frame she usually makes one "suggestion" and never stops back to see how it goes.
My daughter is a fish. Not literally, so stop imagining it and stay with me on this story. She can swim a long ways and is very good at it. But her downfall is she doesn't quite understand the breathing part of swimming and because she is so excited to be in a pool in the winter, she doesn't care. Now, I know the breathing part will come with age and experience, but at her age when she tries to breathe she takes in water. Doing this once, probably not a big deal, the PH on her urine might be a little off the next time she goes to the bathroom. However, doing it every time she swims through the water becomes a problem.
How much water does it take? Who knows. I wouldn't even know how to, or want to measure it. What does too much water look like? Vomit. In the pool, not even on the side. Containment just wasn't happening, no matter how much I tried to keep it all in my hands.
We cleared the pool and ended the lesson early, which was okay with me. You can only spend so long floating around in water as warm as, and probably full of, pee. We left in shame, and a little bit of joy, as this was the last lesson and we had gotten done early.
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